Sunday, July 19, 2009

So Yesterday

Yesterday was a miserable failure. I had stayed under 300 calories until my boyfriend came and picked me up. He asked what I had eaten that day and I told him. I thought about lying to him, but I really can't lie to him, about anything. I love him to much. He freaked out. I kept telling him I just wasn't really hungry and that's why I didn't eat. Which was true I was hanging out with my best friend yesterday so I really wasn't able to exercise which is why I wasn't feeling to hungry. Anyways, he insisted that I eat so he took me to Mooyah. I tried to find the least fattening thing I could. So I found a 100% lean turkey meat burger. So I guess that was okay. At least I stayed under 500 calories. After all that I woke up this morning to a weight of 128.5 lbs. So at least I still lost 2 lbs after all that. I plan to stay under 1,000 calories today. I thought that maybe if I eat a little bit more, (but not like a freakin' glutton) for a little bit, it might help my boyfriend to calm down and not be so suspicious. Seriously anyone got any tips for this kinda thing? Cuz I'm blanking here.

Food diary:

1 cup of black coffee - 0 calories
1 small orange - 45 calories
1 piece of toast w/ 1 tbsp of peanut butter - 159 calories

So, so far today I've had 204 calories, and if my boyfriend asks what I had for breakfast, I think he'll be pretty satisfied w/ this. I've already done like 15 minutes worth of toning on my lower body, and I plan to go jogging this evening for about and hour when it's not so hot out. Here's my thinspiration for the day:

I like this girls figure. It's really cute. Look at those legs. I have men's legs. Well anyways I gotta clean up this house. I'll probably post some more after lunch. BTW thanks for all the comments you guys have been leaving. It helps keep me going when I really wanna give in. Well later!

1 cup of black coffee - 0 calories
1/2 a cup of tuna - 89 calories
1 piece of toast - 65 calories

k, I've had 358 calories today and I got one more meal left so I'm doing pretty good. My boyfriend hasn't asked me what I've eaten yet today. So I should probably eat dinner tonight before I see him. I think I might eat alot of low cal foods for dinner. That way it'll seem to him like I'm eating more. I'm really jittery right now. It's probably cuz I've been drinking coffee. I don't usually drink it but I've been hearing that the caffeine boosts your metabolism as long as you don't put a bunch of fattening crap in there. Oh yeah. Thanks to Hanz for the little boyfriend story/tip. LOL. It really boosted my confidence about getting him off my back. Part of me kinda worries my boyfriend will stay on forever about this. I'll try the whole eating and spitting out thing. Can't throw up though. I know that sounds weird, but I think I have like super gag reflexes. I tried the whole Mia thing first but I never could make myself throw up. It's probably for the better though cuz I heard about how the acid from throwing up can really mess you up. I'll stick to restricting my calories. :) Sorry I know I went off on a tangent there. LOL. It's probably the coffee. Anyways, I'll probably go jogging at around 6 after dinner. It should be cooling down by then. Until then, keep up the good work everyone:).

Ok I just got done running. I ran for an hour with my dog. He's my big old baby I love running with him. He's part German Shepard and Akita so he's kinda of a beast. LOL. He forces me to push myself. Anyways

1 cup of green beans - 27 calories
8 baby carrots - 30 calories
9 pieces of 97% fat free ham - 70 calories
1 medium apple - 72 calories
1 cup of vanilla ice cream - 360 calories.

The ice cream was kinda for my boyfriend. I figured that if he knew I ate something like that he'd probably wouldn't be so worried. So I ate 919 calories today.(and I DON'T feel hungry) I can't wait to see how much weight I've lost tomorrow. I'm hoping to have lost another pound by tomorrow. It'd be great if I could wake up tomorrow and weigh 107 lbs. LOL but I know that's going to take time. I wanted to address a lot of the comments I've been getting talking about me and my boyfriend. First thank you for all the supportive comments. They really help to keep me going. My boyfriend is really great. I've talked to him about my body image issues. He knows and understands I wanna lose weight he just doesn't understand why so much. He doesn't see that I'm only 5'3" and weighed 130 lbs. When I started losing weight I was only 5 lbs away from being considered overweight for my height and age. And consequently, to heavy to join the Marines, which is what I plan on doing. I understand that I'm probably going to have to eat a lot more once I join, but that's exactly what I mean when I say I'm not starving I just don't eat when it's not necessary. When I join the Marines though, my body is going to require a LOT more food. But that doesn't I'm gonna go back to stuffing my face like a fatso. :) I choose a goal weight of 107 b/c I went on a bunch of different sites and the "model" weight for my height and shape is 107. I'm not even gonna TRY to get any lower cuz I have a big butt, wide hips and thick thighs LOL and I know that could get pretty unhealthy. LOL sorry, I kinda went off on a tangent again. LOL. But thanks for all the comments, concerns, support and for making me feel really welcome. :) It helps to keep me motivated.

Plan for tomorrow:
Keep the calories between 1040 and 1080 calories. I know that's a lot but I'm trying to keep my boyfriend from worrying.
As for exercise I'm gonna do LOTS of tummy toning tomorrow.

Well that's all for tonight. Stay strong everyone. Goodnight :)


Hanz said...

My boyfriend used to make me tell him everything I ate, everyday. But after a while of eating half normally he stopped, and I started restricting again, so the tactic of eating a bit more will probably work.
Alternatively, invent a few white lies. Like if I chew and spit something I feel much less guilty saying I've eaten it... Cos I technically have, just haven't swallowed lol.
Well done on your loss too btw x

heebeejebus! said...

If he needs to see you eat more, just eat 'negative calorie' foods. A lot of fruits and vegetables take more calories to digest than are in the food itself. So you could eat stuff like that, he would see you eating and would stop worrying and it should, in theory, actually help you lose weight.

I'm sorry that he's making you eat more, but I'm also glad that you have someone that you love so much that loves you so much too. : )

The Prince of Wince said...

Perspiration > thinspiration

ciaran said...

I think getting a decent haircut would make you look much better than losing a few pounds would.

pokerface said...

Well done on the 2lbs :) that's really awesome. Just keep under the 1000 cals and you'll be fine. It's a healthier rate of weight loss which is easier to maintain anyway. Your body won't be as wrecked by it and it'll avoid most mood swings and all those negative effects. :) Your boyfriend sounds great and I agree that you shouldn't lie to him. Talk to him about your body issues so he can agree that you're going to lose weight sensibly. Sounds like you're in a great situation :) good luck xx

Ana's Girl said...

Your boyfriend sounds so amazing and sweet, and i think its awesome that you want to be perfect for him. You should definately see results staying around 1000 Calories a day and exercise; that's how i started out with my eating disorder and within a week i was so much happier with what i saw in the mirror. You're doing great. Keep it up! And thanks soo much for checking out my blog. Much love

Yum said...

I've got a friend in the Marines, and you will DEFINATELY not get fat! You'll probably get a lot of muscle, which will make you weigh more, but it will not be fat at all!

My friend married a girl he met in the Marines, and she is the most GORGEOUS woman I have ever seen. Not exaggerating. You'll do great.