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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

...Geez

So I haven't posted in a while. Like over 4 months actually. Well I suppose I should give you all an urpdate. Well first my mom kicked me out back in September. I moved in with kasey. The guy with all the tattoos. So yeah I was living there with absolutely NO internet access. It sucked. But me and kasey fell in love and now were married. We got married in November. Soon were going to move out to Tyler tx. Oh yeah one more thing... I'm 11 weeks pregnant!! :) so I guess that means no more ana. :( it sucks but its only until July and I'm excited to be having kaseys baby. I'll still post now that I have internet access. :) only it won't be about how much weight I'm losing or what I'm eating since being pregnant is causing me to eat like a pig. LOL. Anyways that's all for today. I promise I'll post more tomorrow. Later :)

Friday, September 4, 2009

Marine = Old News

Ok so I realize I haven't posted in sometime. Sorry I've been so busy getting swept off my feet. ;) His name is Kasey he's 23. I realize he's like 5 years older than me but he's SO AMAZING. I swear his kisses are the best. They make me melt. He's a martial artist which was so cool! Oh and he has so much faith in God it's almost unreal. Oh my goodness the BEST PART about him is all his tattoos. Hehe I'm kinda a sucker for a guy with tattoos especially when they're hair free. My favorite is this dragon that he has on his side. Once I get a better camera I'm definently posting a pic. You know what I think the Marine was telling the truth. God probably did tell him to break it off. And I'm SO GLAD he did. 'Cuz God sent me a much better guy that actually KNOWS how to control his stupid hormones. Ahh I feel like I'm on cloud 9! :) I just can't even believe how happy I am! You wanna know the best part? THE MARINE WANTS ME BACK NOW!! Haha to bad. Your loss sucker. I'm happy with a new AMAZING guy now. Just being around him. I don't care how upset I am being around him always makes me smile. He's just so sweet and gentle, but still so manly and the way he calls me baby just gives me the most amazing feeling in the world. I'm crazy about him. That's all there is to it. If I could spend every waking moment with him I would. LOL well anyways as you can tell I'M OVER THE MARINE. LOL something even funnier I have NOT been sticking to ABC and I somehow managed to get down to 124... Weird. I wonder if being happy helps you lose weight? OH well I'll restart ABC tomorrow. I'm so pumped! lol Anyways I've got alot of catching up to do on everyone's blogs. Think I should get started. Think Thin xoxo

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Broken

I'm falling apart

I'm Barely Breathing

With a broken Heart

That's still beating

With every pain

There is healing

In any life

I find meaning.


Lifehouse - Broken.


Pretty much how I feel right now. I found out he was lying to me about having a facebook....Why would you lie to someone about that? Maybe there's something on his facebook he's hiding? He hasn't even given me a reason for breaking up with me. He just says it's what God told him to do... Ok I'll buy that. But he still calls me and tells me he loves me. He asks to hang out. I saw him yesterday. He kept trying to kiss me and hold me. My only question, if this is what God told him to do why is he still trying to act like we're together? I wish he would just leave me alone. When he kisses me and holds me and tells me he loves me, but then says we can't be together all it does is rip me apart inside. Gets all my hopes up just to smash them to pieces. it's really not fair. All I can think now is that there's another girl and he can't decide who he wants, which would really be a punch in the face to me since we've been together for a year and a half. My heart hurts so much and I still love him so much.


This diet is now officially for me. I'm gonna lose weight for me.


Now the other ex-boyfriend, (the army dude) we'll call him johnny. He's coming back in December, and now he's trying to write me from basic. He wants me to write him, I'd love to. We were best friends before we decided to ruin it by acting on our stupid teenage emotions. Now everytime we try to be friends it ends up in both of us wanting to be together but then ends in us having to face reality that it just won't work. But what do you write to your ex-boyfriend/best friend? Especially after Mr. Perfect just broke up with you? I know how it's gonna come out. He's gonna comfort me and make me think that HE'S Mr. Perfect. Than we're gonna completely forget why we broke up in the first place. We're gonna become blinded and be determined to make it work between us no matter what than after a few months we're gonna be completely broken hearted once we realize for the millionth time that there's just no way to make it work. Not going through that again.


Anyways today is a 500 calorie day. I haven't eaten yet today so far so great. :) I weighed 127.5 lbs this morning. I feel like if I could just get past the first 2 days I'll be great.


This is my thinspo for life: Selena Gomez! Why you might ask.
#1. She's stinkin' adorable!!
#2. Mr. Perfect thinks she's hot.
Thanks for all the lovely support you guys are awesome! *tear* I love you all so much! Stau strong!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

ok everyone I'm ok I haven't been posting because my computer's been acting all funky on me. Me and the boyfriend are still broken up but I'm handling it. :) Thanks for all the support. Anyways I've been slacking on the diet. Probably because I needed comfort food. But I'm gonna get back on track and start regularly blogging again tomorrow. It's late now so I need sleep. Until tomorrow. Think thin everyone.

Friday, August 14, 2009

So me and the boyfriend brokeup...
I didn't think it would happen this way...
Actaully I didn't think it would happen at all
We seemed so perfect for each other
Maybe too perfect.
I don't really know if this pain is something I could live with.
So I hope it passes soon.
But it probably won't.
I weighed in at 128.5.
That's 2 1/2 lbs in 3 days.

It's day 4 of ABC so the max for today is 400 calories. That won't be to hard since I feel so sick to my stomach already.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Been gone for a bit..

Ok so I've realized I've been gone for a bit. I thought my boyfriend was going to be shipping out to boot camp so I've been spending as much time with him as possible. But his doctor wants him to do a month of physical therapy because of some crap that happened with his knee. So he wont be leaving for another month. YAY!!! :) anyways I gotta make this post quick, cuz my mom wants me to go to wal-mart.

to Ana Nonymous: Sorry I haven't answered til now. You probably have already had your question answered lol. But just in case the ABC diet is like a Pro-ana diet. It lasts for 50 days and has a pretty much a different calorie intake allowed for everyday. I'm not gonna lie. It's pretty hard to stick to. I'm actually starting over again today, cuz I haven't been following it to well. But when you DO stick to it, I've heard that you can lose quite a bit of weight. I don't have alot of time right now but if you want I can post the ABC diet plan in my blog for you. Just let me know. :) OH yeah and as for my revenge plan. I do not care whatsoever if you use it. Knock yourself out please. :)) LOL .

Ok I'm outta time. I'll answer the rest of the comments and post a REAL blog when I get back. Love you guys and gals. Stay strong :))

Thursday, August 6, 2009

A Mix of feelings..

Ok so first off I'd like to thank, xthinforever, lovelybones, Ana's Girl, Sarah, Savory Sweet, and
-H- for all the hilarious, but supporting comments. They made me feel better and I was having a pretty bad day. Anyways, I have thought about it and I know what my revenge will be. Guess who's going with me on my shopping spree when I reach my final goal weight?? Yes that's what I'm gonna do. She's gonna see me putting on x-smalls and like size 3 jeans. (cuz in all reality, I have a HUGE butt and thighs) And she's gonna be so upset and I'm gonna be like that's karma for you hoe. I can just see it now. I'm gonna be asking "Do you have these jeans in a smaller size?" And she's gonna be asking "Do you have this shirt in a large?" YES!! I can't wait. Ahh. Is that to mean? Oh well. On a different note...

So I'm not gonna lie to you guys, I haven't been sticking to ABC. I haven't been eating like a fatso or anything but I definently haven't been sticking to the limits. And I haven't been doing no kind of exercise. After about a week I've lost maybe 1/2 a pound. I guess that's ok. It's weight loss, but I'd like to see more. I plan to reach my first goal weight of 124 by August 17. That's about 2 weeks away. So I restarted ABC today. I must say I've been doing pretty good. I'll post a pic once I've reached my first goal weight. I'm so excited to stick to it this time.

Food Intake:

Breakfast-
1 cup of Activia Yogurt 110 calories
1 small banana 90 calories

Lunch-
1 Turkey Sandwich 190 calories

Dinner-
1 South Beach Chocolate Raspberry bar 100 calories
WOOOOHHH!!! 490 calories all together! sorry I'm proud of myself lol.

Exercise:
30 minutes of running burned 259 calories
55 minutes of martial arts burned 527 calories
20 minutes of walking burned 153 calories







Thinspo




















Tuesday, August 4, 2009

People I currently can't stand...






First off my ridiculously skinny so called "best friend." I'm alot shorter than her. So my "ideal" weight is ALOT lighter than hers. Anyways she always tries to be so f****** competitive with me. Back when I was alot skinnier (At 115) she weighed about 120 or so. And it was like her life dream to weigh less than me. Whatever I would eat she would eat half of. Whenever I worked out she would work out twice as hard and twice as long. It was so annoying. She's always trying to out do me. Now that I'm fat it's like she's having a f******* field day or something. It seems like she has to rub it in my face or something. "OOOOO guess what I'm lighter than you. Look at how big my size 3 pants are on me. OMG you used to be so tiny. How'd you get so big. I'm WAY smaller than you now." First off f*** you. The ONLY reason you're smaller and lighter than me is cuz I got fat. But wait 'til I lose all this weight. I'll be even tinnier than I was last time watch. Then there's absolutely NO WAY you'll ever be smaller than me EVER.






Second, my boyfriend. Boyfriend I love you but you're CONFUSING as hell! Stop telling me how perfect I am now if you're gonna gawk at how tiny my waist has been getting, or pictures of me from back when I was skinnier. It's very confusing and I need you to make up your mind. Cuz I wanna be perfect for you.






K I am COMPLETELY aware that my boyfriend and sorry excuse for a best friend probably won't ever read this, but I need to get this off my chest, and everyone here seems to understand me and my problems more than ANYONE I know in real life. Thanks for all the support you guys have been giving. It's been simply amazing. Stay strong lovelies.

Monday, August 3, 2009











Yup that's me, after last night's binge. Before anyone says anything, I know I'm pale and I know I have a chubby stomach. Yesterday was supposed to be Day 2 of ABC, but I got invited to a singles night at a friend from churches house.I still weigh the same 129.5 lbs, but I'm obviously bloated. Ugh I suck! Today is Day 3 of ABC and I haven't exercised at all today. All I've had so far is a banana which is probably around 200 or so calories. I might eat some canteloupe or something later on tonight. Ugh, hopefully I'll have lost some weight tomorrow. I'll exercise some tomorrow. I'm really starting to think that maybe I need to cut back on the socializing. That's when I seem to do my most eating. Maybe I'll just start bringing my own food with me or something, then I'll have an excuse. I could just take out my food and nibble whenever everyone else starts to eat pizza and junk. Then they'll just think I'm a health nut or something. IDK I guess you could say I kinda am, whatever. Well tomorrow is a new day. I'll do better tommorow. It's a 400 calorie day. I'll definently workout tomorrow. My plan is to run, maybe do some martial arts, and do some booty toning. x) Ok well I think it's time for some thinspo.







Saturday, August 1, 2009

SHOPPING!!! :)

Ok today's been pretty good. Been sticking to the plan so far. I hadn't even gotten half way through my work out when my bestie called and asked if me and my sis wanted to go shopping. Let me tell you going shopping was like a HUGE thinspo for me. I know it sounds wierd. I got these purple skinny jeans that are a size large. (Screw you genetics and these huge thighs you cursed me with!) Anyways they're to tight, and I plan to get to where there to big, WAY to big. That'd be amazing. Plus shopping helped to keep my mind off food. I've only exercised for about 30 minutes or so. But I'm fixing to go run and tone. That's all for now.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Ana Boot Camp

K so I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy with a bunch of confusing army crap. Well, I haven't really been sticking to my plans and I've gained back like 2 pounds so I'm like 129 now. I'm gonna do something about it though. Im starting Ana Boot Camp tomorrow. I'm gonna go through all the way. So the plan for tomorrow,

Food Plan (Max: 500 calories)

Breakfast:
3/4 cups of honey bunches of oats cereal with 1/2 cup of skim milk: 160 calories
1 piece of toast: 65 calories

Lunch:
1 cup of activia yogurt - 70 calories
1 small banana - 90 calories

Dinner:
Medium apple - 72 calories
3 crackers - 36 calories

So there that's my plan for tomorrow. This blog is gettin pretty blah to me. I need to livin it up.

Ok so I'm not amazing with a computer, but I made a template. I think it's ok for being made by someone like me. LOL. Neways comment please and tell me what you think.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dreamland.. :X

Ok so last night I sleeping until I started having this dream. I was sitting with my boyfriend in his car. He was getting ready to leave for boot camp and this was the last time I was gonna get to see him for 3 months. It was so amazing. He told me he loved me. He gave me this beautiful necklace and told me he wanted to marry me when he got back. It was so pretty, then he left. So in my dream I went to a friends party to kinda take my mind off him. It was great, she had like these huge blow up obstacle courses, I freakin' love those things. :) Any ways I was busy woppin' everyone up on the obstacle course, not being upset about my boyfriend being gone when out of nowhere I see my Ex. I remember in the dream I was trying to avoid him but eventually I told myself that this was stupid cuz this guy used to be my best friend. So I talked to him and told I was surprised cuz he was supposed to be at basic. (Which is where he is right now) Than he told me that he got his ship date pushed back because he needed to talk to me. He told me that he was stupid for all the games he's played with me and that he can't leave without knowing whether or not it was to late for us. He said if I gave him another chance, then when he got back he would make up for everything and it could just be me and him for the rest of our lives. I remember my heart just melting whenever he was telling me all this and staring at me with those big, beautiful blue eyes. It seemed so real, and the sad part was whenever I woke up I was disappointed that it was just a dream... WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?? I'm so depressed right now I don't even wanna think about food or exercise. I just wanna lay around all day and pretend to make everything just go away. I really think my mom is starting to catch on. I was trying to find some breakfast this morning and all I could find was a bunch of fattening crap. No fruit , no veggies, no low cal. Just a bunch of crap I don't need to be putting into my body. I might have to wait 'til I get back from AIT that way I can buy my OWN food and maybe even have my own place. That would be great. Anyways I gotta go I'm just so bummed right now all I wanna do is sleep. Good luck and stay strong today everyone. :)

K new rule for myself. When I go to AIT I'm not gonna really be able to keep restricting my calories so I'm probably gonna gain my weight back. But I plan to start again when I come back in 2 months. SO I've made a vow not to buy ANY new clothes until I've lost all the weight I wanted to lose. That'll be like my little gift to my self when I reach my ultimate goal. K well that's all.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

128.5 lbs.

Well it's not as bad as I thought. Only .5 lbs put on. That should change tomorrow morning. :) I'm gonna really try to think positive. LOL. Anyways I just got done taking my dog for a walk for about and hour, and then I did like 30 minutes worth of toning on my whole body. By the way does anyone know of any good websites that I can go to that will tell me how many calories I've burned? 'cuz I can't seem to find any good ones. Well this is kinda nice. Even though the scale says I've gained .5 lbs my tummy looks flatter. My hip bones are poking out pretty far and you kinda already see a faint cut right underneath my ribs. It could be from all the tummy toning yesterday. I did a lot of that. Well any ways time for the damages from breakfast.

Food Diary:

Breakfast:
Coffee - 0 calories
5 crackers - 100 calories
1 slice of cheese - 60 calories
1 small apple - 55 calories

That's 215 calories so far today. It's getting pretty close to lunch time. I plan to keep that under 100 calories. Well that's all I'll write some more later. Thanks for all the comments and support. stay strong everyone.

Lunch:
Coffee - 0 calories
1 boiled egg - 13 calories
1 piece of toast - 65 calories

So that's 293 calories so far today and I really don't feel that hungry. This 600 calorie thing might just be doable. :)

Monday, July 20, 2009

Tomorrows plan

Ok so I've eaten a little over 1000 calories today and I didn't get to exercise as much as I wouldv'e liked so I'll probably have some weight gain tomorrow morning. ICK. I'm really dreading it. It seems my boyfriend has calmed down somewhat so tomorrow's plan: no more than 600 calories. As for exercise 1.5 hours of jogging, and at least 30 minutes of toning my whole body. I'll have to make sure that when I eat someone's around 'cuz I think my mom might be suspecting something. Well I'll post more tomorrow. It's time for family guy. :x

The Ex

Ok so something weird happened last night.. My ex boyfriends family called me last night. I'm supposed to be leaving in a week and a half to go to AIT and they wanna throw a going away party for me... I thought that was really weird considering I haven't talked to anyone in that family INCLUDING the ex for a year. I HATE it when they try to contact me. Anyone know that song by Taylor Swift "The Way I Loved You". Yeah that song COMPLETELY applies to my life. My boyfriend is amazing. He treats me right. My ex... let's just say he couldv'e been better. When I weigh the Pro's and Con's of both of them my boyfriend outshines my ex by a landslide. But, for some reason, I still go through these phases where I miss my ex and wanna do anything to be with him. It could be because he was my first love and you know, you never forget your first love. I know I would never leave my boyfriend to be with him. I can honestly say I can see myself happier with my boyfriend than my ex. We just both want totally different things for our life. He went to the Army, I'm in the Army but I'm switching to the Marines in February. He wants lots of kids, I only want 3. He wants to have sex, I wanna wait til I'm married. I want my family to be centered around God. He just wants to follow the basics of christianity. Honestly the ONLY thing we had in common was that we wanted a lot of land and a lot of animals. He has NO respect for females. I hate to say it but he's sorta the one who got me to start freaking out about my weight. Anyways everytime his family tries to contact me it gets me to thinking about him and that maybe we can work everything out and I can just throw away my relationship that I invested a year and a half in. I'll go make another Pro's and Con's list. LOL that should help. The only thing my ex really has on my boyfriend is that fact that we grew up together and he's more muscular.
A.) I'm not that shallow
and
B.)My boyfriend will more than likely be more muscular than him when he gets back anyways

I just gotta keep reminding myself that and I'll be all better. :)
Ok sorry for the rant I just had to get that off my chest. Anyways

So I've already eaten lunch

Food diary:

Breakfast:
coffee - 0 calories
1 scrambled egg- 13 calories
1/2 a medium banana - 53 calories
1 piece of toast - 65 calories

Lunch:
1 cup of tuna - 179 calories
8 crackers - 157 calories

So I've had 467 calories today. I did some tummy toning this morning I'll probably do some more this evening. Oh yeah almost forgot LOL. I was 128 this morning. That's .5 lbs less than yesterday. 2.5 lbs less than when I started. Well I gotta get this house clean and I'll post some more after dinner. Later lovely babes :)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

So Yesterday

Yesterday was a miserable failure. I had stayed under 300 calories until my boyfriend came and picked me up. He asked what I had eaten that day and I told him. I thought about lying to him, but I really can't lie to him, about anything. I love him to much. He freaked out. I kept telling him I just wasn't really hungry and that's why I didn't eat. Which was true I was hanging out with my best friend yesterday so I really wasn't able to exercise which is why I wasn't feeling to hungry. Anyways, he insisted that I eat so he took me to Mooyah. I tried to find the least fattening thing I could. So I found a 100% lean turkey meat burger. So I guess that was okay. At least I stayed under 500 calories. After all that I woke up this morning to a weight of 128.5 lbs. So at least I still lost 2 lbs after all that. I plan to stay under 1,000 calories today. I thought that maybe if I eat a little bit more, (but not like a freakin' glutton) for a little bit, it might help my boyfriend to calm down and not be so suspicious. Seriously anyone got any tips for this kinda thing? Cuz I'm blanking here.

Food diary:

Breakfast:
1 cup of black coffee - 0 calories
1 small orange - 45 calories
1 piece of toast w/ 1 tbsp of peanut butter - 159 calories

So, so far today I've had 204 calories, and if my boyfriend asks what I had for breakfast, I think he'll be pretty satisfied w/ this. I've already done like 15 minutes worth of toning on my lower body, and I plan to go jogging this evening for about and hour when it's not so hot out. Here's my thinspiration for the day:




I like this girls figure. It's really cute. Look at those legs. I have men's legs. Well anyways I gotta clean up this house. I'll probably post some more after lunch. BTW thanks for all the comments you guys have been leaving. It helps keep me going when I really wanna give in. Well later!

Lunch
1 cup of black coffee - 0 calories
1/2 a cup of tuna - 89 calories
1 piece of toast - 65 calories

k, I've had 358 calories today and I got one more meal left so I'm doing pretty good. My boyfriend hasn't asked me what I've eaten yet today. So I should probably eat dinner tonight before I see him. I think I might eat alot of low cal foods for dinner. That way it'll seem to him like I'm eating more. I'm really jittery right now. It's probably cuz I've been drinking coffee. I don't usually drink it but I've been hearing that the caffeine boosts your metabolism as long as you don't put a bunch of fattening crap in there. Oh yeah. Thanks to Hanz for the little boyfriend story/tip. LOL. It really boosted my confidence about getting him off my back. Part of me kinda worries my boyfriend will stay on forever about this. I'll try the whole eating and spitting out thing. Can't throw up though. I know that sounds weird, but I think I have like super gag reflexes. I tried the whole Mia thing first but I never could make myself throw up. It's probably for the better though cuz I heard about how the acid from throwing up can really mess you up. I'll stick to restricting my calories. :) Sorry I know I went off on a tangent there. LOL. It's probably the coffee. Anyways, I'll probably go jogging at around 6 after dinner. It should be cooling down by then. Until then, keep up the good work everyone:).

Ok I just got done running. I ran for an hour with my dog. He's my big old baby I love running with him. He's part German Shepard and Akita so he's kinda of a beast. LOL. He forces me to push myself. Anyways

Dinner:
1 cup of green beans - 27 calories
8 baby carrots - 30 calories
9 pieces of 97% fat free ham - 70 calories
1 medium apple - 72 calories
1 cup of vanilla ice cream - 360 calories.

The ice cream was kinda for my boyfriend. I figured that if he knew I ate something like that he'd probably wouldn't be so worried. So I ate 919 calories today.(and I DON'T feel hungry) I can't wait to see how much weight I've lost tomorrow. I'm hoping to have lost another pound by tomorrow. It'd be great if I could wake up tomorrow and weigh 107 lbs. LOL but I know that's going to take time. I wanted to address a lot of the comments I've been getting talking about me and my boyfriend. First thank you for all the supportive comments. They really help to keep me going. My boyfriend is really great. I've talked to him about my body image issues. He knows and understands I wanna lose weight he just doesn't understand why so much. He doesn't see that I'm only 5'3" and weighed 130 lbs. When I started losing weight I was only 5 lbs away from being considered overweight for my height and age. And consequently, to heavy to join the Marines, which is what I plan on doing. I understand that I'm probably going to have to eat a lot more once I join, but that's exactly what I mean when I say I'm not starving I just don't eat when it's not necessary. When I join the Marines though, my body is going to require a LOT more food. But that doesn't I'm gonna go back to stuffing my face like a fatso. :) I choose a goal weight of 107 b/c I went on a bunch of different sites and the "model" weight for my height and shape is 107. I'm not even gonna TRY to get any lower cuz I have a big butt, wide hips and thick thighs LOL and I know that could get pretty unhealthy. LOL sorry, I kinda went off on a tangent again. LOL. But thanks for all the comments, concerns, support and for making me feel really welcome. :) It helps to keep me motivated.

Plan for tomorrow:
Keep the calories between 1040 and 1080 calories. I know that's a lot but I'm trying to keep my boyfriend from worrying.
As for exercise I'm gonna do LOTS of tummy toning tomorrow.

Well that's all for tonight. Stay strong everyone. Goodnight :)

Friday, July 17, 2009

Weight gain... ick!!

Well my boyfriend has caught on and he's pretty much been staying with me and pretty much been making sure I eat for the past couple of days. I feel so sick and I'm pretty sure I've gained all my weight back. I feel stuffed. The thing is for the few days that I have been restricting my calorie intake I don't recall feeling that hungry at all. It's proof that America just eats way to much and that's why the majority of us are overweight. It's pretty sad. That's why I have a hard time explaining to my boyfriend that I'm not necessarily starving myself I just only eat when it is needed. And the human body does not NEED to eat everyday. It can go up to 40 days without food. Today's society lives to eat when in fact we need to eat to live. And that's it. Anyways sorry about the rant. I'm gonna start new tomorrow.

My plan for tomorrow:
no more than 300 calories
at least 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of toning.

That should help put me back on track.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Definently not giving in..

So I had church tonight. I started to feel like that maybe this isn't right and that I'm perfect just the way I am. Then I got home and saw how much weight I've lost in just 2 days. I weigh 122.5 lbs now!!! And that's even after slipping up yesterday. I toned and ran alot today. So that probably has some affect. But after seeing that I'm definitely not giving this up. 107 is so close I can feel it. Well I'm getting pretty tired. I'm gonna hit the sack I'll try to post some more tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

bleh...

So today was my mom's birthday. It was pretty hard to avoid food today. But she got a coffee maker so I'll be able to get some coffee w/out anyone getting suspicious. My boyfriend came over today. Gosh he's so amazing. He brought me 3 roses and gave me a backrub. He really deserves someone alot prettier and skinnier. Seriously a guy who can look a fat girl like me dead in the eyes and tell her she's beautiful deserves the perfect girl and that's what I'm going to be for him. Anyways it was a bad day for food...

Food Intake:

Breakfast:
1/2 a bottle of fuze - 90 calories
Orange - 62 calories
1 piece of toast w/ a tablespoon of peanut butter - 165 calories

Breakfast total: 317 calories

Lunch:
Cup of Lemonade - 120 calories
1 can of tuna - 140 calories
1 piece of toast - 70 calories

Lunch total: 330 calories

Dinner:
Herbal tea: 0 calories
1 cup of green beans - 40 calories
1 cup of baby carrots - 36 calories
1 medium apple - 56 calories
3 oz. of turkey - 75 calories
1 cup of cookies and cream ice cream - 360 calories

Dinner total: 567 calories

Day's total: 1,214 calories

So... today was horrible... I don't know what happened. I didn't even realize that I ate that much. Oh well it's still under the amount that I normally eat. I will do better tomorrow though. I'll keep it under 800 calories tomorrow. I didn't exercise much today either. I only did about 20 minutes of toning my lower body. I guess I was just so busy. I'm not gonna post my weight tonight cuz honestly I'm afraid to know. I'll post it in a couple days when it's gone down some. anyway, Thinspo...


I love her abs... I want mine to look like this so badly. I remember when they DID look like this. Anyways, I'll update on my progress more tomorrow. Oh yeah I'm still looking for some ana buddies to share tips and support with. Leave lots of comments please. :)

Monday, July 13, 2009

First Day...

K so my first day in Pro-Ana day is over. Wasn't to hard, but I bet it'll only get harder. Doesn't matter though, I'm determined to be perfect. Anyways...

Food intake:

Breakfast: Small Banana - 90 Calories

Lunch: Medium Apple - 72 Calories

Dinner: Orange - 62 Calories

All together: 224 Calories.

As for exercise today I did roughly 65 minutes of cardio all together and maybe 30 minutes worth of toning.

Well after my first day I'm down to 129.5 lbs. So I've lost one pound since I started this morning. 22.5 lbs from my goal weight... I've got a long way to go. But it's not impossible. 107 here I come. I will be perfect for my marine... Thinspo time. This girl is beautiful I love her long thin body... this is my thinspo for the day. I wish I could look like this...

Well that's all for tonight. More tomorrow. Stay strong ladies Leave comments, I would love to hear from other ana's to help keep me going.

Hello Ana.

K so I've been contemplating this for a while and I've come to the realization that this is what being a girl is about. Restricting, exercising like crazy and constantly worried about what everyone thinks. I've come to accept this and be happy about it. I just wish others around me would recognize that. Well I guess what I'm trying to say is that Here I am Pro-Ana world. Ready to strive for perfection and willing to do whatever it takes. So I would like some support here from others who are Pro-Ana. Any tips and advice are greatly wanted. Well I guess that's all for now...